After-50 Operating Instructions

You know those jokes about how men don't ask for directions, but women do? Barbara Grufferman, in true female fashion, decided to seek out some direction for all the changes she was finding herself going through at 50 — and found there wasn't any.

So, in true heroic female fashion, she decided to do it herself. The Best of Everything after 50: The Expert's Guide to Style, Sex, Health, Money, and More (Running Press) is basically a manual for getting through this decade with ease, grace, forethought and, of course, style. Grufferman rounded up leading experts in pertinent fields to give grounded advice on what to do and how to do it: a simple workout plan, schedule of health checkups, how to wear jeans.

Diane Von Furstenberg — at 63, a gorgeous testament that you can come out the other side of this decade with grace and style — confirms that confidence and comfort are the key words. But comfortable shouldn't mean looking old-fashioned or frumpy. That would undermine your confidence. But you also don't have to contort yourself in the latest trends — that's where the comfort comes in. All good news.

Another great piece of news: Throw the Blow Dryer Away. Yay. Buh-bye.

But I wanted to know what really surprised Grufferman in writing the book. 

Heart Disease.

"I thought it was a man's disease," she admitted. But it kills more women than men. "We culturally don't like to bother people," she explained, adding that women can feel symptoms for weeks and not do anything about it.

Another topic that stopped me in my tracks: Visceral Fat. "It's sneaky fat, on the inside, that gathers around your organs; often the cause of female tummy bulge. And "[it] can cause all kinds of havoc inside your body."

I caught myself side-stepping the finance chapter. I didn't feel it belonged. "I wanted it to be a true resource book," she said. "Money, and being secure about it, is essential to our happiness, our health and well being."

She's right. Burying head in sand, especially now, is not wise. Actually I was at a 50th birthday party not long ago and I noticed that this was the one thing all the women said they wished they knew more about.

And then there's Clutter. "I love that chapter so much!" Grufferman enthuses. "I'm in my 50s, had life, children, tax files from way back. Clearing out space [offers] a whole new framework for moving on with my life."

Oh boy. I have that too. I have a lot to do. But the book is very easy to read, practical and, most importantly, not overwhelming. You can tackle things in small chunks and the way it's laid out, it all feels doable. Even if you're not 50 yet, you have a touchstone for being prepared when you get there.

"I really want women to be fearless after 50," Grufferman enthuses. "This is our time."With a good solid guide by your side, this seems achievable.