Marcy Miller knows how to play the love game post 50.
In fact, she wrote about it in her new book, "Rebooting in Beverly Hills: A Wise and Wild Path for Navigating the Dating World."
Yesterday in a blog, Marcy told me a few style secrets when it comes to finding love again as a midlifer. First, she said to let a department store makeup counter guru do your makeup a few hours before the date.
(The Chanel and Dior counters are my personal choices)
"Take advantage of those $35 blow dry bars that are popping up all over the country. Feeling good about your hair makes a big difference," she says.
SET-UPS AND FIX-UPS
She says her favorite avenue is to use the resources all around you.
"When I was single, I let everyone I know that I was available. Some people have brothers and friends who want to fix you up. Let them do it."
You can also walk the extra mile. Literally.
"I went to Neiman Marcus' shoe department and spent hours looking for shoes. I started talking to people. I would say, 'I just got separated. I'm about to enter the dating world. If you know anyone, please keep me in mind.
"Then I'd give them my card with my cell phone and email address," she says.
"I got a few hits from it," she says. "The point is I was out there amongst people and fix ups are better. Most people don't know ax murders."
HER STORY
Marcy was married for 12 years. She says that when she went to look for a new partner, she wasn't willing at this age to settle.
"I believe that people need to be cherished and taken care of in life," says the former management labor lawyer who now designs jewelry for a number of high end boutiques. You can find her designs at marcymillerjewelry.com.
She says that during her over 40 dating days, she did have a few rules that determined if she was going to "jump to the dump."
"When the guys started talking about their ex wives, I would always try to change the subject," she says. "I just didn't want to hear it. I didn't want to be the next ex wife that they would talk about to some other woman."
"I believe the way men talk about other women - ex wives, friends or even their own daughter - is very telling. Women need to pay attention. Do they talk about women in a loving way? Is it in a hostile way as in they can't trust women? There are men out there who hate women and you want to avoid them," she says.
SHOULD YOU TRY INTERNET DATING?
"It's the worst. The absolute worst!" she cries. "I tried it and one of my dates turned out to be a scam artist. He was a charming man in his 50s who wanted to marry me very quickly.
"My brother said, 'You better get a private eye to look into this guy.' It turned out he lost all his money in a swindle and was after money, which is why he was dating up a storm now."
She says that many of her Internet finds turned out to be men who had a few lies in their profiles.
"I'm six foot tall and would prefer a taller man," she says.
"I did find that almost every single man on the Internet lies about his height," she says. "Nobody tells the truth online. To me that's so self-defeating."
"Be who you are," she says. "If you're looking for someone to really be a companion then be a good, truthful companion from the start."
TAKE A BREAK FROM MIDLIFER DATING
"As a middle aged woman facing single life, you have to see yourself as a phoenix rising from the ashes of an old relationship," she says. "Don't be frantic about finding a new partner. Just get out there and realize that you will meet wonderful men and women who might be turn into good friends.
"There are so many good things that come out of the misery of actually dating including new friendships with other people in your life," she says.
You can also take a dating break. "There's nothing wrong with taking some time off from dating to just hang out with friends. Choose a certain period of time when you won't date anymore and then get back out there when you're ready."
Miller finally met The One and married a year ago.
"One of the great parts of meeting someone is you don't have to date anymore!" she says with a laugh.
