How to Not Act Old

I spend most of my professional life telling women how to not look old by showing them how to use fashion to keep them looking younger. But all the fashion tricks in the book won't help you seem younger if you have an old lady mindset.

A youthful glow starts from within by meeting new challenges and opening your mind to new pursuits and people. Here's how to make yourself look younger and feel more vital from within:

1. Find inspiring middle-age people to be around. I like to be inspired by other midlifers who are not afraid to try new things. One college friend picked up writing again after 40 and has now finished two great novels. Another friend was "downsized" in midlife from his long-term career, but started an entirely new career to become the stylist to one of the most popular entertainers on the planet.  I've found that whenever I start to feel like maybe I'm too old to learn new skills, I am buoyed by my friends' experiences and success.
2. Do one thing every day that scares you. OK, this is actually Eleanor Roosevelt's advice, but I have found it to be the simplest and most effective advice to get me through my middle years. Some of the things I've done that scared me at first were purely for personal fulfillment (like approaching and chatting up famous people), but some of the scary things I've done were for my family (like vigorously advocating for a special needs child.)  That daily scary thing can be as small as telling the truth when it's the difficult thing to do or as frivolous as wearing shorts in public to show off a new weight loss goal. All of these things scared me at first, but once conquered, I felt invigorated.
3. Play with your friends. At least once a year I get with my two best girl friends and we head out for a girls only trip. Our usual destination is New York and I swear I always come back from these trips feeling 10 years younger.
4. Spend time around young people. I mentored a young writer who inspired me with her much-younger outlook on fashion; her insight kept me seeing everything with fresh eyes. My young friend's attitude that anything was still possible was what I loved the most. That's something we lose as we grow up and take a few knocks in the real world. But getting at least a little of it back tends to help.
5. Revisit your childhood dreams. I've had a great career, and I really love fashion. But all I ever wanted to be as a child was a barrel racer (for you non-horsey people that's a rodeo event where you race around three barrels as fast as you can.) After giving up horses at 16, I came back to them almost 30 years later. At first, I started riding again to spend more quality time with my older sons. Then my childhood dream kicked back in and before I knew it I was training to compete as a barrel racer. I don't plan to make it a second career – it is definitely just a fun hobby – but it's taken years off my mental age to be able to do something that I wanted so badly as a kid. Did you dream of being a pilot? Take flying lessons. Maybe you wanted to be an actor. So, take part in local theater. The point is that almost anything is still possible if you set your mind to it; following a childhood dream is the ultimate fountain of youth.