Joan Rivers On Plastic Surgery, Men, and Lady Gaga

Can we talk? 

She knows you think she has had a lot of plastic surgery. Joan Rivers would like to provide this disclaimer: "I just say, 'I'm in my late '70s, so please leave me alone!' I also hear, 'You look awesome for your age.'"

"So pleeeeessee," she begs. "Let me just have my plastic surgery because I just bought my first skirt-suit granny bathing suit for summer. Isn't that enough trauma in my life?"

We simply can't leave her alone. Joan Rivers, 77 years young and a national treasure, is still a major thrill. She calls from the road on the way a benefit in Los Angeles and is happy to put age, the knife and beauty into perspective.

"At this age, it's not about too much or too little surgery. I believe a woman should do what she wants in order to feel great and people should just shut up about it. It's really about how you feel on the inside that counts.

"Look at the Cat Lady. If she feels good then she feels good. I once saw her walk into a restaurant and she thought she looked fabulous."

Rivers laughs in that delicious, deep, scratchy voice and what she says next might stop fans in their tracks. She provides another disclaimer: "I haven't had plastic surgery in four years. I've been working nonstop."

There's "Fashion Police" on E, the QVC line, stand up work and a recent, critically acclaimed documentary now out on DVD called "Joan Rivers: A Piece of Work." There's also her new reality series with daughter Melissa Rivers, "Joan & Melissa: Joan Knows Best."

Rivers is tough on herself…at least her HD screen self.

"There is one shot of me where they shot me from below. Let me explain. I was in a London taxi and they shot me under my chin. You can see the chin line. That's not fair!" she cries.

HER DOCUMENTARY

"If you're not honest in a documentary then don't do it. Tell the truth or shut the hell up," says Rivers of "Joan Rivers: A Piece of Work." For 14 months, camera crews tracked the legendary stand up, jewelry maker and winner of "The Celebrity Apprentice."

She tells it like she sees it in the film.

"I guess as you get older your tolerance goes further and further away. We all bullshit so much in life that there comes a time to tell the truth."

She isn't worried about competing with other screen stars.  "I was worried about women who would rather pick one of those 'Sex and the City' movies.  I said we should rename my documentary, 'Sag and the City.'"

THE OPPOSITE SEX

She says romance at this age is tricky – although she will go there. 

"Bret Michaels dumped me," she jokes. "He was jealous of my blonde hair, plus it was life threatening to go to bed with me."

"Honestly, at this age the interesting thing is you still get crushes on people. It's so funny. You're flirting with someone and it's insane. That never stops in life and I find it very sweet."

She's happy to spend time with her daughter Melissa and grandson. "She's a great daughter. She's smart and a fabulous mother. Go figure. She's much stricter than I ever was. I was like, 'Come on, Melissa. Please let me call school and excuse you for the day.' She would say, 'No, mother.'"

As for living with her daughter for the reality show, she says, "It's tough because I'm a neatness freak. I want everything pretty. I want to sit down at the table and remodel to make it prettier. Basically, I drive Melissa crazy."

NEVER SLOW DOWN

Rivers is reflective these days about her life.

"It's been an amazing life and career. There have been good times and bad times," she says. "There have been flush times and bankruptcy. I've been through it all.

"It's wonderful to look back although it wasn't always so wonderful to live it."

As for money, she quips, "I support the world. My joke is if you get sick in New York City mention my name. I probably put your doctor through medical school."

Will she ever retire?

"No way, never, never, never. I love to work and I love to travel all over the country. I always say that I've seen the word compliments of jokes. How many people go to England and Australia and all the places I've been to in a lifetime?"

Someday she knows Hollywood will do a drama about her life. Who could ever play Joan Rivers?

"That would be Lady Gaga. This will come at a point where Gaga says, 'I've always really been an actress and I don't want to be Lady Gaga anymore.'  I can see it now. Gaga IS Joan River."

Joan is reflective about aging. Ask her what she would like to tell her younger self and she gets serious for a moment.

"One thing I'd tell my younger self is to always work things out. Don't take a stand where there is no going back. Always leave that door open just a little bit.

"I'd also tell myself to appreciate what's actually happening in your life and enjoy it while it's there," she says.

And I'd say, "Save for your old age. You might need a quick eye lift."

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