Kathy Griffin is talking about bathing suit season. Put down your coffee mug.
She insists that every month of the year IS bathing suit season.
"I found that I'm guilty of only one thing in this world, and that's having a hot banging bikini bod and I refuse to apologize for it," says the 51-year-old.
"When I put on a bikini for the first time in many years, it was with Paris Hilton sobbing in the bathroom screaming, 'Why, why!' It was like Nancy Kerrigan after she got hit with a baton."
"Sometimes, I'll just have a friend ring the doorbell and then I'll just run down and answer naked for fun," she muses.
She doesn't have much time for naked door moves now. "Kathy" is her new one-hour weekly pop culture talk show hosted by Griffin. It debuts tonight at 10 p.m. EST.
The original gossip girl has one hour to skewer Hollywood. The show showcases her take on celebrities, co-workers, friends, politicians and her box-wine swilling mother Maggie. Kathy sat down for an interview with Style Goes Strong.
Q: Will there be wine on the new show?
A: "Yes, there is going to be box wine. My mother, who has become a rather famous international superstar, is now trying to pull some typical diva BS. She wants the wine in a bottle now. The show is going to be a little McLaughlin Group, but with drunken 91-year-old."
Q: What took you so long when it came to creating your own talk show. You've been a guest on over 29 shows!
A: "Honestly, what I really wanted to do is go back to being a temp? I was happy making $140 a week. This show was a natural progression. I have appeared on so many shows. I co-hosted everything from Week 2 of Jimmy Kimmel Live to rather infamously 'The View.'"
Q: What talk shows served as your inspiration?
A: 'Kids Say the Darndest Thing' and 'Are You Smarter than a Fifth Grader.' I'm 51 years old, so truly my inspirations go back to Jack Parr and elements of Johnny Carson and Joan Rivers.
Q: Is it true that you won't have celebrity guests?
A: "Why would I? How could I possibly say the things to celebrities that America wants to say? And when I say America, I also mean Canada and maybe a few Secret Service Agents in Cartagena."
Q: So what will you talk about on the show?
A: "Everything from actual genuine news items and I'm very into 'The Celebrity Apprentice' although I do not concur with Donald Trump who I believe is a birther now. I will also have my mom on. I went to my mom's apartment last night because she only stays at my house until she finds me annoying and then basically kicks herself out. She would really like me to have a panel of Bill O'Reilly, Sean Hannity and Laura Ingraham. Unfortunately, I had to shoot that one down."
Q: Will anything be off limits?
A: 'No thing is off limits. No person is off limits. That's another reason I really have to surround myself with civilians."
Q: Were you really banned by The Today Show?
A: "Yes, I'm proud of it. The reason I was late for this call is because I was in my bathroom, where I have a TV because I'm famous. I was the lead story on CNN for the half hour. I couldn't believe my good fortune when the banner actually said, 'Kathy Griffin re-banned from 'Today.'"
Q: So, why were you late?
A: "I don't care how many Emmys you have, and by the way I have two, when you see yourself on CNN in the bathroom you stop whatever you're doing. So, I was frozen naked with a toothbrush in my hand watching myself on CNN. It was very exciting."
Q: Didn't you recently run into Kris Jenner? You make a lot of fun of her in your act, so was that uncomfortable?
A: "I co-hosted a book party for my friend Lara Spencer's book. And yes, Kris Jenner walked in and a little hush came over the room. I'm not going to lie. She couldn't have been nicer and couldn't have been more friendly. I think I actually heard like the sound of a cash register as she was talking to me. So, you could just hear her stockpiling money in her mind. Frankly, she doesn't care about my dumb jokes. I believe in the time it took her to talk to me, which was about five minutes, I believe she netted $4.2 billion."
Q: Since this is a style column have you ever made any style mistakes?
A: "I have one tattoo on my whole body and it's a wedding ring. I'm divorced. So, why don't you tell that to Kim Kardashian. I don't like to wear rings, so I got a ring tattooed on my finger. I tried to get it lasered off five times and it won't come off. I think I'm just going to put a freaking cigarette on it one day and just bite a piece of cloth like I'm a Civil War victim.
Q: Is there anyone in Hollywood you're afraid of these days?
A: "I guess I might be a little afraid of Lou Ferrigno because he did threaten to throw Lisa Lampanelli out a window on 'The Celebrity Apprentice.' I'm a little nervous around DMX when I watch him on Couples Therapy. But these people aren't in my daily world.
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