Mother of the Bride Wants a New Neck for Daughter’s Wedding

Nora Ephron emblazoned it on the cover of a bright yellow book, I Feel Bad About My Neck. And she continued her honesty in the first short story of the same name:

"If I said something to you on the subject, something like 'I absolutely cannot stand my neck' – you'd undoubtedly respond by saying something nice, like, 'I don't know what you're talking about.' You'd be lying of course…."

Well, I do know what you're talking about. Necks are one of the first places that people complain about – both men and women. 

That's why I loved this reader letter – honesty, real life situation that many of us can relate to, ready to take action.

My daughter is getting married in about a year, and I really have been trying different things on my face and neck, but my neck really bothers me.

I have been to a plastic surgeon, but not sure I want to go that route yet. If there is any peel, laser, or product that you have come across that would help my neck…I would appreciate [knowing about it]. Too many products to look at and I'm not sure what I am doing."

That's true! Which is why I write this particular column (almost) every Thursday. I know your secret concerns and try to address them. But I'm not a doctor and can't prescribe or tell you what to do. But I can tell you what I've learned and experienced in hopes that will help.

So I told her about the new Ultherapy, which I did try and found quite amazing. If you have a fleshy face, it tightens up the underlying skin without breaking it – no cutting, no blood, no downtime, just ultrasound.

But I also went to our go-to guru, aesthetics consultant Wendy Lewis, who gets these kinds of requests all the time – and always knows what's on the cutting edge (relishing the pun) in the cosmetic surgery world.

"There are few good alternatives to surgery for a sagging neck and neck muscle bands," she assures me.

A lower facelift would produce the most dramatic and lasting result. However, she may be a candidate for select non-surgical procedures that will give a nice improvement so she can look younger for the wedding pictures. For example, Ultherapy is a deep ultrasound energy that can help tighten and recontour the neck area. [See that!]

Depending on your age and skin condition, you could do one treatment now and consider a second treatment in 3 to 6 months for additional tightening before the wedding.

Another good option is ePrime from Syneron, a new technology that stimulates collagen, elastin and hyaluronic acid in a single treatment. The results are a firmer, lifted, younger appearance and improved skin tone."

But, don't overlook Botox cosmetic, Dysport or Xeomin [they all do the same thing] for taking years off your face.

Sculptra and Radiesse [fillers] are also worth considering for the collagen stimulating and subtle lifting effects you can get. A combination treatment of injectables will give you a boost in self-confidence and you will look and feel better as the mother of the bride."

I also turned to Dr. Scott Blyer, innovator of the Vampire Lift, which doesn't use artificial fillers, but instead your own blood to fill in deep lines, even crinkly eyelids, to see if he had any sage advice for the neck. He jumped at the chance because he "wrote two textbook chapters on neck rejuvenation so I am passionate about [the topic]". He says:

When evaluating a neck, here are 4 things to look for:
1. skin quality and redundancy
2. muscle banding (platysma muscle)
3. fat content
4. chin position

1. If skin elasticity is poor … it should be removed surgically.  That's done with an incision behind the ear into the hairline.  If elasticity is good and the only issue, nonsurgical skin tightening is an option. Skin Tyte, Thermage, EndyMed, Titan, etc., are all heat generating skin tightening procedures. They work by either radiofrequency or infrared light. All generate heat to cause skin contraction and [thus] collagen repair (similar to cooking a piece of chicken — it shrinks). Results typically take 4 weeks to kick in.

2.  If there is banding in the neck, an incision needs to be made under the chin in the natural crease. The bands are excised or sutured together to create a tight corset to support the neck.

3. For fat content, liposuction is the answer. A small incision under the chin and one behind each earlobe [to remove the excess fat].

4.  If one draws a line on a profile photo from the ear canal straight to the lower part of the eye then draw a perpendicular line straight down to intersect where the lips touch, a woman's chin should fall 1 or 2 mm behind this line. (A man should fall on the line.)  Chin advancement by repositioning the bone via incisions in the mouth is one option. Another is a solid silicone chin implant by an incision under the chin or in the mouth.  [This is probably TMI for our MOB!]

Finally, I reviewed Dr. Sam Rizk's advice for the neck. He says your 40s is the time when women begin to notice sagging around the jaw line. "A neck lift could be just the ticket to a fresher, more youthful appearance," he suggests, and follows this procedure.

As we age, muscles become loose and drop underneath the skin. [My] surgical approach to a neck lift addresses the deeper tissue by going under the muscle and sliding it backwards into its original youthful position. This technique results in less bruising and swelling. Scars heal better and quicker because there is no tension on superficial layers of the skin. This lift results in a natural, softer look that creates definition along the jaw line and neck, not tightness."

But, this woman was less interested in surgery per se. So, Strivectin has a new cream out for the neck that's gotten great buzz. I tried it at the Fab Over 50 Beauty Bash, but that's certainly not long enough to evaluate any results.

Perhaps start slow, with creams and lotions, to see if they have the desired effect. If that's not enough of a change, move on to more aggressive options.

What do you think?

More beauty and bridal info:
Passing On Your Wedding Dress
Best-Dressed Mother of the Bride
You: Walking Down the Aisle
Wedding Dresses for Over 40