Marcy Miller knows how to reboot.
Her new book is called "Rebooting in Beverly Hills: A Wise and Wild Path for Navigating the Dating World."
Her reboot involves midlifers thrown back into the dating pool. She was 51 when she got unhitched.
"I had a traumatic divorce and was thrown into the dating pool in mid-life," says the delightful Miller calling from her home in Beverly Hills.
A former attorney turned author and now jewelry designer, she says, "After my divorce I was having all of these traumatic dates. I'd call my best friend and we laughed so hard when I told her the stories. She said, 'Why don't you go home and write this up?'"
Marcy Miller's book was born.
Of course, I was interested in the style secrets she might offer us when it comes to getting back in the dating pool for those of us who find ourselves suddenly unattached.
Miller reminds us that dating is about self-confidence.
"My best tips for women over 40 thrown back into the dating pool is that you do go visit a department store makeup counter before your date and have them do your makeup. If you don't buy anything, it's free."
"Another tip is to take advantage of those $35 blow dry bars that are popping up all over the country. Feeling good about your hair makes a big difference.
"Between the makeup and the blow dry, you can feel like a princess when you go out, which will just up your self confidence."
HER WORST DATES
All of us have those horrible dating stories. Miller has a few doozies.
"I went on a date with this very prominent man in Los Angeles who took me to dinner. We got along well. He invited me to a wonderful place for a second dinner."
Was it a love match? Well.....
"At the second dinner, he said, 'I want to tell you something up front," she recalls. "He said, 'I expect you to be intimate with me 200 times in the next year. If that's too much, let's end it right now.'"
She laughs and says, "How romantic! He was a very prominent businessman, wealthy and smart. I guess he just wanted to tell me what he needed."
Miller says that dating again at age 51 wasn't for the faint of heart.
"The dating world has changed so much with Internet dating, Googling and Tweeting," she says. "At 51, I had to ask, 'How much do you text.' I'm a lawyer and good researcher. I looked everywhere for answers."
"But I couldn't find answers anywhere about dating. I thought I was reinventing the wheel," she says. "That's why I wrote my memoir to share some of my tips."
TIPS FOR MIDLIFERS WHO ARE DATING
"My favorite tip is to make three business cards in three different colors, so you don't get confused," she says. "One card should just have your name and e-mail address. Women and men need to be safe when meeting new people. You don't want to give out too much information."
"Print a second card for when you meet new girlfriends or know someone better," she says. "That card should have your name, address, cell phone and e-mail."
And then there is that third card.
"The third one is phony," she says. "It's the card for if you're at a bar or a restaurant and a guy asks for your name and number. Instead of putting you in a bad position and saying you're not interested just give him the phony card."
WHY IS IT TOUGH TO DATE OVER 50?
She says that many women over 50 just sit back and hope dates will find them.
"You need to devise a strategy. Look at dating like a job," she says. "You can't sit back and hope to meet the right person.
"Hope is a four letter word. It's the enemy of the newly broken hearted," she says. "You can't sit back and say, 'I hope I meet someone.'
"You will go through some misery when it comes to dating. Remember that it's a process. Keep yourself focused. But you should also relax and enjoy. Find the humor in it. At least you got to go to a great restaurant.
"Find the good in it even when it's bad," she says.
DID SHE FIND THE ONE?
The answer is yes!
"Ultimately, I met the man I married at a dinner hosted by one of my girlfriends. It was a party I wasn't invited to in the first place because it was all couples," she says.
Then she got another call.
"My friend said, 'A man is coming and he just got separated. Please come. Do this for me,'" she says.
She almost said no.
"I wasn't interested in going that night because I had just come back from Milan and I was exhausted. But you should never say no to a good opportunity," she says. "I went to the party and....
Yep, they eventually married a year ago on August 7.
"You have to get out there to find love again!" she says.
TOMORROW: MORE STYLE SECRETS AND DATING TIPS FROM MARCY INCLUDING INTERNET DATING AND FINDING ROMANTIC PROSPECTS IN PLACES EVERYWHERE. PLUS, SHE TALKS ABOUT REBOOTING THE REST OF YOUR LIFE INCLUDING HER NEW JEWELRY DESIGNS.
