Shades of Grey: Redefining Beauty as We Age

An online exhibit -- Silver: A State of Mind -- focuses on what female beauty really is

Getting older allows us to redefine what beauty really is Source: Ralf Nau / Getty Images

Getting older may be causing us to redefine what beauty really is -- and that's a good thing.

Calm down, I'm not talking about that Shades of Grey... well, maybe I am in a way.

I haven't read the trilogy of midlife erotica that's been taking the bestseller lists by storm ... but it all does seem to be part and parcel of the same thing — an impetus by midlife women not so much to bring sexy back, but to confirm, for themselves and others, what beauty and sexuality really are.

And that it never really went away, we've just lost sight over the years of what true beauty, especially true female beauty, really is.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, and again and again until someone starts quoting me (I wish you could use emoticons in articles): the Boomer generation started the youthquake. And now they've found themselves hoisted by their own petard (I realize that's Shakespeare, but you know what it means without looking it up!).

When you "never trust anyone over 30", and then you are over 30, or over 50 – do you trust yourself?

This gorgeous online exhibit — Silver: A State of Mind – let's you trust what you can see with your own eyes, real beauty. And then re-evaluate beliefs that you hold, or that have been thrust upon you.

The photographs of these women speak for themselves; they speak for themselves as well:

I think in previous generations women survived really well by compartmentalizing themselves and by promoting the pieces of themselves that were acceptable.  And in later years I think we found that being integrated and authentic is part of health.  If you just figure out who you are and present that, it makes life simple for us and easy.  It helps your emotions and your mind correspond to each other and creates happiness."

One of the best things to come from the whole trajectory of the Boomer generation is the learning, step by step, how to appreciate life at every stage. Re-learning really, and redefining, because, whether 50 is the new 40, or 60 is the new 30, or 20 is the new 12, how we're aging today is not the way people aged in the 17th or 19th centuries, or even the early part of the 20th century.

I think that one of the things that makes me who I am is the ability to say, "Yes, I am. I'm sixty-one years old and I'm going for it while I can. Get out of my way, or you know, we'll talk later."  

We're redefining everything as we go – it may be the only modern thing about us (because, let's face it, every other aspect of history does repeat itself).  

Meander through the faces in these two galleries; read their observations and insights, then add some of your own – I know you have them!

More on re-evaluating beauty:
Why We Need Betty White

Is Gray OK?
Beauty Rx: Relax!

Do you see yourself as beautiful now?
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Do you see yourself as beautiful now?
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sandra | Mar 29, 2013
No..people tell me they can't believe I'm as old as I am....My worst insecurities are below the neck...my husband likes me just the way I am....but I see the love handles and flabby skin...I am very self conscious in clothes especially fitted ones.....I have survived a life threatening illness so you think I would have my priorites in order...but I am still my worst critic and very ashamed to admit it because I know I would never judge someone else's shape.
Gerit Quealy | Mar 29, 2013

Oh you're so sweet. I'm sure you don't & look, we care about what we care about— don't feel bad about that, certainly not shame. It's human nature. & congratualtions on being a survivor! Here are 2 I hope might make you feel a little better:

When Are You Too Old to Care about Your Looks?

Time to Forgive Your Love Handles

Anonymous | Jul 30, 2012
FINALLY, I am leaving myself alone and, with a few small exceptions, letting nature take it's course while still trying to take care of myself. It's so hard to do that!
Anonymous | Jul 21, 2012
I've been coloring my hair since I was 14, keeping it the blonde I was born with, well a shade or two darker. I am now 54 and still keep it blonde with lowlights of light brown or reddish brown - I switch it with the seasons, for fun. My natural hair color is light brown with lots of white, and, to me, not pretty at all. Blonde fits my fair skin and green eyes, although I did color it red years ago, and it looked pretty cool, just too hard to maintain. :)
Anonymous | Jul 9, 2012
No, but I've never been beautiful or even pretty. But at least I don't worry about losing my looks as I age. Despite my looks, my dear, sweet husband never fails to tell me that I am beautiful. That is all that matters to me.
Gerit Quealy | Jul 24, 2012

that is so sweet — and probably the real key to being ageless. Lucky you!

Anonymous | Jun 15, 2012
My Mom went gray and she looks soooo lovely! She has always worn her hair in a bun with a part down the middle. Her pale skin positively glows with the paler hair, the dark brown she used to dye it made her look stark. It truly shows that it is best to look the best of your age range than to chase a distant time and place. I hope when I'm her age, that I can rock the grays and look better than ever.
Anonymous | Jun 12, 2012
I've found, that as I age, I am still most attracted to those in my age range and not some pixie ninny. And being completely honest, when I was a young lad, I did not think that would be the case.
Suzikell | Jun 4, 2012
Really love this article. Still hard to see oneself as much older than one feels, but that's the challenge—-and a great one.
Anonymous | Jun 1, 2012
I love love love this. I am "going for it" while I can too. I feel like I'm in my 20s anyway.
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