I can't mention the friend – and really, it is a friend – who recently purchased an amazing pair of shoes. We're talking car payment. When she went to pay for them, she had what she thought was an odd request for the shoe seller.
"Can you please keep the box?" she whispered.
The man who worked at a place that rhymes with Mucci nodded in a knowing way. Suddenly, they weren't shoe buyer and seller, but co-conspirators on a mission!
"Oh, you're hiding these from your husband!" he said with a twinkle in his eye as he tossed the box to the side of the counter.
She was 52 and felt a grand sense of relief flood her system. He asked her, "Do you hide clothes and shoes from your mate? Her answer: All the time. Yes, it was fallout from her little shopping addiction.
"It's not just that shoes are amazing at Gucci," my friend told me (and I swear it wasn't me). "The salesmen are almost like shrinks. They know it's not good for a marriage to bring home a Gucci box."
This brings up the point: Do you hide clothes/shoes/accessories/beauty products from your significant other?
Are you stealth shopping? It's a shopping addiction that needs to be stopped.
WITNESS PROTECTION PROGRAM CLOTHING
The solution isn't to get a separate apartment that can serve as a Witness Protection Program for the shoes, designer skirts or let's say gemstone earrings like the ones Helen Mirren or Nicole Kidman wore to the Oscars, etc.
Frankly, you know the clothes would be lonely there and it would be just as tough to explain why you're adding a rental payment to this month's list of bills. Just follow these simple rules and you'll never have to hide clothing again:
*Actually, clean out your closet. Years ago, I ghost-wrote a book for a top Hollywood fashion stylist who advised that we should all "first go shopping at the clothing store in our own closet." Really evaluate what you have, so you can weed out what you want to give to charity. The fashionista took me to the swankiest New York apartments of major news anchors. A few will remain nameless because they belong on the show "Hoarders." They basically had everything in their walk in closets or extra bedrooms from their prom dresses to sky blue polyester suits from their first jobs. Breaking up with that floor length prairie skirt circa 1985 might be hard to do. Even worse is keeping ghosts of fashion trends past in your closet taking up space.
*Get rid of old shoes. A great way is to put them in some nice shopping bags and go down to your local women's shelter. It's tough with shoes because most don't wear out. You won't have to hide new shoes if you make room for them and practice "out with the old." Somehow, I know those gladiator sandals will be hitting that give-away bag soon. An A-list actress I know was so savvy at hiding new shoes from her hubby that she actually rotated them by keeping the older ones in the trunk of her BMW and wearing the new ones in. It's an insane way to live.....and what if you get a flat tire? The jig is up? Just keep your Jimmy Choo shoes and Manolo's because they will be back someday.
*Don't keep it because it's designer. The way to not have your closet bursting at the seams – and put your mate on high alert – is to gently pack up the designer duds and put them in your version of storage (a high shelf, basement, spare bedroom closet) until the trend returns – which it probably will someday. Sarah Jessica Parker says, "I do keep the designer things in storage because they will come back." Space tight? Slip clothing boxes under beds in guest rooms.
*Do a beauty dump. Go through your bathroom drawers and shelves and toss anything you haven't used in a year that's liquid. This is true: Bacteria has set in and you don't need that kind of trouble.
*Have a frank talk with your mate. He spends money on his hobbies like NASCAR or golf or watching stupid movies where guys grunt and then kill each other. Remind him that Ralph Lauren is also a hobby and finding what you want at Nordstroms Half Yearly Sale is good cardio, especially if you can't make a decision and walk each aisle two or three times. So not only are your interests diverse, but you're also working on burning calories.
*And finally, stop feeling so guilty. Years ago, I actually took shoes out of a box so someone didn't see them. First of all, he never noticed the shoes. I doubt he would have noticed the box. He wouldn't have noticed a UFO landing on his head either, but that's another matter. The point is if you work hard, you don't have to feel guilty about fashion. So go back to Mucci and get your box back. It's part of the deliciousness.
When asked, "Do you hide clothes and shoes? simply say no.
Because you've kicked the habit.
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