Want To Go Gray All the Way?

How to go gray gracefully

Source: Camille Tokerud

There are several ways to ease into all gray.

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You've got maintenance fatigue. You're tired of battling the incoming grays — waiting the requisite 3–4 weeks between coloring, scrambling to cover roots — and have finally decided to really go gray all the way.

My friend Suzanne McGee is frequently caught with a wide stripe of gray surrounding the center part of her thick brown hair.

A recent Facebook update had her lamenting that it would take two years for her to grow out her gray hair completely, so she gave up and gave in to getting yet another dye job.

This is additionally frustrating for her because she's about to start an intense round of interviews and appearances for her new book, Chasing Goldman Sachs: How the Masters of the Universe Melted Wall Street Down…And Why They'll Take Us to the Brink Again (Crown Publishing), out next month.

But hang on. Why so difficult? Just go gray if you want to.

Ah, but it's not that easy, she explained. Or so it was explained to her. Her hairdresser delineated her rather paltry options:

  • strip the color out of the hair, which is difficult, time-consuming and the hair ends up a rather unpleasant color; "an icky yellowish tone," according to Suzanne.
  • let the gray grow out which means being two-toned for some time — not an option given her book tour. And also, let's face it, who wants to conjure up images of Cruella De Vil while on the way to naturally gray?
  • chop it all off. 

This last was not appealing to Suzanne either. Although it did explain to me why you see so many gray-haired women with pixie cuts.

"I got my first gray hair at 16," Suzanne said wearily," and I've been actively covering the gray since 30." She now estimates that, at 48, her hair is "roughly 85% gray if left to it's own devices," and she admits to being "fed up with the maintenance."

I turned to hairdresser Philip Pelusi for confirmation of the seemingly insurmountable problem.

Not so, said he! His solution:

Highlighting selected areas of the dyed hair, lifting it to gray tones, while adding darker 'low-lights' to the incoming gray.Thus the line of demarcation is softened, and the process can be continued gradually, until the transformation is complete."

Pelusi stresses that allover gray doesn't look good on everyone. Cool skin tones with blue eyes look great — that's Suzanne!

He also notes that lightening up with blond hues can be a good option for certain coloring, to cope with increasing incoming gray. "'Mousy' browns and faded redheads will benefit from what we call a demi rinse," Pelusi explains. "Somewhere between a stain and rinse; this stains the gray hair blond, almost like you'd use highlights at the crown and around the face." This is especially good for brown-eyed, warm-complected women.

And contrary to popular belief, gray hair for women of color also varies with the tone of their skin, Pelusi says. "Some have ash tones and some warmer tones. Gray hair generally looks better with ash skin tones."

Regarding the pixie cut, he advises caution; it can look quite severe on some people, especially larger women, he notes. Neck size, face structure and body shape all need to be considered. "Sometimes when solving a hair problem, we forget there's a person attached — their individual traits must be taken into account." A short bob can work, he suggests, leaving the hair longer and softer.

If you're bent on going gray, there's always a way — just choose the best way for you.

Related stories: Top 10 Ways to Make Gray Great; Silver Sisters Go Las Vegas; Is Gray OK?; Gray Goes Glam

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Anonymous | Sep 12, 2010
To anyone who's tired of the time/effort/$$$ involved in the upkeep of their colored hair routine (or even thinking of going natural), may I suggest checking out www.goinggraylookinggreat.com. I am now into month 4 of my transition and will never go back. Diana Jewell is the creator of the site and also wrote a book with the same title. Gook luck. Darlene N.
Gerit Quealy | Sep 12, 2010

thanks Darlene, yes, Diana Jewell and her book & website are terrific resources! I interviewed her here: http://www.stylegoesstrong.com/top-10-ways-make-gray-great and here: http://www.stylegoesstrong.com/silver-sisters-go-las-vegas — are you going to Las Vegas?!  : )

Anonymous | Aug 20, 2010
I can't afford a "colorist" and lots of creative professional coloring....'ve always done my own color, and I'm often told that people are surprized that I color. I mix and match over the counter products, and the result is very natural. How do I go about "do t myself" going gray coloring project? My hair is a sandy auburn, and I wear it a little longer than shoulder length - I do not want to look like someone's grammie! Help!!! I'm 57 and it's time to transition even if I do look 10 years younger than my chronological age...I can't be auburn much longer without feeling silly!
Anonymous | Jul 10, 2010
I suggest reading Diana Jewell's book "GoingGrayLookingGreat" or checking out the website www.goinggraylookinggreat.com.

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