"Look at her back; she has the most perfect back," said my friend Abby.
Um, her back? I had told Abby I was off to the 92nd Street Y to see Raquel Welch talk about her new book, Raquel: Beyond the Cleavage.
"I know she's known for her boobs," Abby said, "but many years ago Vogue did a series on perfect body parts and she had this absolutely perfect triangle."
Well, I thought, I'm going to hear her talk about "her internal struggle to age gracefully in the spotlight of Hollywood and make peace with the … mantle of 'sex symbol.'" Or so said the 92nd Street Y's website.
When Ms. Welch appeared on the stage, in a cream-and-coffee open plaid suit and a brown tank top demurely displaying a modest bit of cleavage, it was clear the large crowd, mostly women of a certain age, and men, were fans.
And she had lots to say, about the book, why she wrote the book, and what's in the book, beginning with the infamous loincloth bikini that catapulted her to fame as a sex symbol, while secretly being a single mom with two little kids.
She shies away from giving advice about men, she said, because she's had four marriages. "I love men but the battle of sexes goes on and on, ever fascinating." She expands on that theme in the book and she contributed more to that conversation on a recent Good Morning, America appearance.
But her book is chock full of advice on beauty, from how to wear clothes and makeup after a certain age, to diet, nutrition and exercise, to cosmetic surgery: "Botox and injectable fillers have been almost as life-altering at the Pill was in the '60s," she writes.
She has lots of experience in the realm of beauty: In 2007, she was named a MAC Cosmetics Beauty Icon; in 2008, she was included in People magazine's 100 Most Beautiful issue, she has her own successful line of wigs; and this year, in addition to the book, she's the spokesperson for Foster Grant sunglasses to spotlight their 80th anniversary. She became affiliated with the brand in the 1960s so it's rather fitting that she help foster their charitable efforts now.
But with all this success at 69, she still says, "Can anyone have it all?" She admitted that she really didn't start to feel her own power until after she turned 40. And with a mischievous smile, she added
We [women] get to be a real handful after that because we know too much."
She spoke about her complicated relations with her parents, in particular her father, and coming to terms with mistakes they both made along the way, as we all need to do — our 50s seem to be an ideal time to come to terms with all that. Even more poignantly, I thought, she spoke about her relationship with her own kids; how she had to sit down with them finally and go through a really painful outpouring of their grievances growing up so that they could all ultimately cleanse and heal and have a loving, healthy relationship now.
All of this was imparted with the easy grace of someone who's comfortable in her own skin, and the dazzling smile (that recalls Farrah Fawcett's, except that it predates it) that indicates she appreciates the hardship it took to get here with a wry and rich sense of humor.
Her secret for staying young now she says, is that she's always hopeful, always interested. But when asked for more tips, she grinned, "It's all in the book."
One thing she's retained from her years as a sex symbol — the art of the tease.